Thursday, July 24, 2014

Three Kid Diaries :: 2 weeks in

Well hello! Since today is Evley's 2 week birthday (actually, yesterday) I think it appropriate to check-in, and to let you know how things are going around here. I'll start by saying that Evley Love is an incredible baby. Gabe and I have been blessed with three healthy pregnancies, labor/deliveries, and babies. I feel so blessed that I'm sometimes overwhelmed by emotion regarding the matter, and I wonder why & how it all happened. I can safely say at this point that I feel like my immediate family is complete; I'm content to stop having babies now. As a result, I'm appreciating and eating up these early days with Evley. I wish so badly that I could have been so calm and attentive when True was little, but I rushed him to grow. With Elle West I was a lot better, but felt really busy for having two. Now, anything that can wait will wait. I know better now. It took me three to get it.

I want to share Evley's birth story with you and hope to write it soon. This post though is just an outline of worth mentioning events over the past couple weeks. I hope you enjoy the glimpse into our lives; please leave your judgements outside and come on in...

Wednesday, July 9
Evley Love Candelaria was born at 4:27 p.m. She weighed 6 lbs, 14 oz and was 18 1/4" long.

Thursday, July 10
We brought her home at about 5 p.m., and my Mom & Dad traveled the three-hundred + miles to help out. True was super excited to have Evley and I home, and Elle West wasn't quite sure about the the whole thing. However, Grandma & Grandpa were exciting enough to keep Elle from any major melt downs.

The night was off to a rough start when I tried to lay Evley down. She wasn't content to be left in her bed (it is currently/was in our room). Things went much more smoothly once I gave into the idea of simply nursing her to sleep and allowing myself to doze off, too. We slept in our recliner all night, waking every couple hours to nurse, and dozing off again with her lying on my chest.

Friday, July 11
Gabe went back to work today, but Evley and I were able to take it easy and hang around the house. My parents picked up coffee & breakfast from the Tuning Fork here in Bayfield, and played with True and Elle West on the trampoline all morning. It was relaxing and fun for me to watch from under our apple tree. I wish I had a picture of the four of them jumping! 

After lunch, Evley and I napped in the recliner while True and Elle West took their afternoon nap, and my parents checked out a local antique store. 

After naps, my parents took True and Elle West to Durango for dinner and to grocery shop for me. Evley and I got out on a tiny walk, and then went to dinner with Gabe at our local brewery; where I also enjoyed my first beer of the summer!

By bedtime, my milk was beginning to come in. Evley had already been eating well (chugging actually, if that's possible prior to milk coming in...), but now she was content to sleep in her bed. I got up with her every 2-3 hours to nurse, and otherwise enjoyed the feel of my bed on my not-pregnant-body for the first time in many, many months! It was nothing short of amazing.

Saturday, July 12
Today was another easy day. My parents took True & Elle West to Durango again. They went swimming and had lunch; came home ready for naps. My Mom and I sat outside and had coffee during nap time, and my Dad helped Gabe with Evley's room.

We grilled out hamburgers for dinner and had a fire in our backyard afterwards. I sat by the fire holding Evley and glancing over at the full moon periodically. I had guessed that the moon would put me into labor and that I'd have her tomorrow...I was thankful for where I was at that moment, with her birth behind me and having beautiful, perfect, and healthy her to show for it. 

With each pregnancy I've worried a little more about the health of my baby. This is another reason for which I'm content with being "done"...I'd be a stress case should I be pregnant again (I imagine). I'm not sure of the odds, but I feel lucky to have had three healthy pregnancies and three healthy babies. While pregnant with True, I was clueless and therefore had no worries. Now I know more. I've heard more stories. I know more moms. I am a mom and know what my kids mean to me, and therefore worry before they are even born.

At this point, my milk was in and I was very near engorgement. Bedtime was rough on account of my hard, sore, and huge boobs. There was more milk than my skin could acclimate to, and I felt run down and tired. My bed still felt good, but I was not able to enjoy it as thoroughly as I did the night before.

Sunday, July 13
I woke up very tired. I was officially in a haze and my parents were packing up. I was engorged and sore, but Evley never had a problem latching on and eating (which was fantastic). Since the engorgement was bearable, I did not do anything at all about it (I think there are home remedies & other means out there to help with engorgement). I just fed Evley as often as she'd eat and rode it out.

I suffered my first incident of baby blues after reading some material that the hospital sent me home with regarding SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I found myself in the bathroom several different times that afternoon/evening, crying. In addition to racing fearful thoughts, it was sinking in that my parents were gone and that I'd be on my own tomorrow while Gabe was at work. I've suffered from a little bit of anxiety when my Mom has gone home after having all three of my kids.

My bed felt amazing though. 

Monday, July 14 
Evley woke up at 2 a.m. and again at 6 a.m. to eat. Since I had such nice stretches to sleep, I felt well rested and stayed up after her 6 o'clock feeding. I figured I'd better get started on the day if I was going to get us to the doctor by 9:40 a.m. for her 5 day check-up. Breastfeeding and diaper changes and dressing another person in the morning really adds to the time it takes to "get ready" for the day.

Gabe's Mom came over to watch True and Elle West for me, while I made the trip into Durango with Evley.

Evley WOW-ed the nurse and doctor by being back up to her birth-weight. Yep, she weighed in at 6 lbs & 14 oz! Our trip to town was a success and all went well.

I had been noticing that True was having a hard time. He was still being good, and helpful, but was throwing some out of character fits and acting out some. Elle West on the other hand was beginning to feel right with and in our family again. I'd made a point to reward and praise her when I noticed her sweetness or when she was being good. I'd put Evley down and ask Elle to snuggle or sit with me. I'd let Elle sit with us when we nursed...she noticed me pressing lightly on my boob one day (I was giving Evley's nostril a bit more room for air), and she decided that she could help by sitting next to me and ever so carefully pressing on my boob. I let her do it (still), whether it needs to be done or not. 

Back to True. I hadn't failed to give him attention up until now. But, he's different. He's the oldest. He'd gotten lots more jobs recently (which he liked some of). It was his job to check on Evley. It was his job to help Elle West. Looking into his face felt like looking into a mirror. He looked like me. He looked like he just had a baby. He did just have a baby. He was slightly pale and his eyes were glazed over; even though he'd been sleeping well. I started wondering what I could do that would be special for him.

I started thinking about how I could negotiate Target, in Farmington (an hour drive away), with three kids; 6 days postpartum and by myself.

Tuesday, July 15
I'd gone to bed wondering if going to Target was possible today, or if it was an insane idea. I woke up rested (because Evley is a doll and because my bed is amazing when I'm not pregnant). I then decided  that it was possible to go to Target, so long as I aimed for nothing else the entire day, and was willing to let go of the notion that it was possible that we'd make it back by nap time.

The four of us were ready and loaded up around 10:30. We got back six hours later, at 4:30. We only.went.to Target. Okay, so I drove through Taco Bell, too.

As well, we had two hours of drive time. And we parked at Safeway in Aztec to feed Evley on the way home. But still, it took over three hours to buy True school supplies. 

I will spare you the tedious details. But, the outline goes like this: once inside Target...go to the bathroom; buy True & Elle West hot dogs at the snack bar; buy myself an iced mocha at Starbucks; sit at a table in Starbucks and consume mentioned food while nursing Evley; burp Evley while T & E West finish lunch and put Evley in Moby Wrap; leave Evley's carseat at customer service; push E West in cart and find everything on school supply list but one thing; let True pick out a backpack, lunch box, and thermos (lunch boxes don't seem to come with thermoses anymore); search for a "desk solution" for True (he'd outgrown his desk space at home and we'd been discussing what to do); find Target employee to bring True's desk up front; check out; go with Target employee outside to load desk on truck while I loaded other items in front seat; go back into Target and get carseat; sit down at table in Starbucks and feed Evley; go to bathroom; load kids up into truck; fiddle with strapping True's desk down on my flatbed for awhile. Ahhh, pull out of Target parking lot while in my nicely air conditioned space and head for Taco Bell.

Shortly after we left Farmington it was clear that Evley needed something. So, we pulled over in Aztec for a diaper change and to nurse. That's when True said, "Oh good! I need to go to the bathroom."

I said that there was no chance of his going to the bathroom...that it was not possible for me to unload everyone to go inside Safeway, to the bathroom. I told him we could pull over up the road aways and he could go on the side of the road. Or, he could hop out and go in the parking lot, except that we might get into trouble. Then I told him that he could go in my water bottle. My Pretty by JL water bottle (I sort of thought for a second that he might like that idea...)

True whined about every single option and about how bad he had to go. I'd reached my limit for our outing. The water bottle solution was the very best I could offer. He tried and couldn't go. Then he told me that he didn't have to go anymore. Then I insisted that he try again. It worked that time and he mentioned that my water bottle was, "kind of hot now." I cringed, screwed the lid on tight, tossed it on top of our Target loot, and off we went.

So, we did not make it home for naps, and of course True and Elle West lost it in the truck. Elle West did not want True to rest his head on her seat (this is payback for years of True not letting Elle touch his seat with any body part). 

After ten or so minute of extremely intense whining, roaring, bickering and such, they both fell asleep...

They got a twenty-five minute nap in the truck.

The rest of the day is a blur and I feared that I'd over done it, and that I might never (ever) leave the house with three kids again. But, my bed felt amazing, Evley is a doll, and I got some sleep.

Wednesday, July 16
Slooow is the pace for today, and Evley is one week old! A friend came over in the morning and brought coffee. The kids played and we sat in the yard under the apple tree. It was lovely.

My major and most important to do of the day was to get True's desk put together. He was thrilled with his special shopping trip, but waiting to organize his new desk was brutal for him. I started at nap time and worked on nothing else until well into the evening. I fed Evley as needed and that was it. T & E West watched a movie after their naps and I worked on his desk. I did get it done in time for him to arrange it before bed. He said that I was the best mom ever. It was fun to watch him fill it up. 

He was content after that; the glaze over his eyes went away and he perked up.

Tracey brought us dinner (the same friend that had been over this morning), chicken spaghetti, and it was amazing. And my bed felt great, again.

Friday, July 18
I walked to the Tuning Fork (Evley in the Moby, Elle West in the stroller, & True walked...I can't manage Elle on her Strider bike right now and True's bike is broken) for coffee and an amazing sandwich. Then to the park where we ate and the kids played. 

We went home for nap, and Gabe came home so that I could go for a mani & pedi here in Bayfield. I took Evley and it was so nice to be pampered for a couple hours. Evley slept in her carseat.

Saturday, July 19
I picked up our Bountiful Basket order and worked on laundry. I feel like laundry doesn't stop piling up (neither do dishes). As soon as I get a batch done it's time to start again- that is the reality of our laundry cycle these days (and dishes, and I'm not even cooking per say...just getting by; eating to eat at each meal time). 

Gabe built his new desk, which was a nice to-do to get off of his list.

I ran out at nap time, kid free, to get an iced mocha before the Tuning Fork closed, to check my mail, and to pick up something at the afore mentioned antique store for my Mom. Evley was discontented with my leaving and Gabe had probably held her the entire time (she wasn't crying, but needed held when she'd normally be sleeping at that time). I was gone for forty-five minutes.

True is becoming a pro at holding Evley. He loves to do it and takes it very seriously.

I haven't gotten over how great my bed feels to get into. I can lay any way that I want to now! I can bring my knee up to my chest if I want! It's the little things...well, there isn't really anything little about comfortable sleep, especially being a mom. It's absolutely amazing. 

Sunday, July 20
I felt really good today. I made French toast for breakfast (but mostly because we only had milk enough for that). I got the bathrooms cleaned and laundry folded (big accomplishments!). I ran to the Bayfield grocery store with Evley (didn't want to leave her again) in the afternoon, and picked up dinner at Tequila's. It may not sound like much, but I was pooped after I got all the kids to bed.

Gabe worked hard all day on Evley's room; getting it pretty much finished. I opened myself a summer ale and stood outside to cool off. I heard a racket and went to see what was going on. Gabe was fervently throwing firewood from our ginormous pile (had been delivered a fews days before) to the stack. It was around 9 p.m. and was almost dusk. I thought, really? Have we not done enough today? I just watched for a couple minutes, Gabe never looking up. It actually looked like he was blowing off steam, but if he were I didn't know about what.

I went to the laundry room, polished off my beer, grabbed my gloves and went out to help. He probably just wanted it done before the work week, or need the space open for parking, or just wanted it to be done. Anyway, I didn't ask any questions and it probably only took about a half hour for us to finish it up. I broke a nail. 

The night was going fine. My bed felt great.

Monday, July 21
Then True came in at 3:30 a.m. I fed Evley and didn't put True back to bed like I normally would. Gabe let True in bed, to lay by him. I didn't sleep well on account of it. True didn't sleep well. Gabe didn't seem to have trouble.

The day started and I stayed in my pajamas. I focused on checking email and doing a little desk work. It was good to get it done, but I didn't shower & dress until 3:30 p.m. I hadn't gone outside at all. This is a problem for me.

By the time Gabe got home and I'd made dinner, I was a hurtin' unit. Gabe made a comment about my being "bitchy" to True that morning when I told him to, "Lay still and sleep or go back to your own bed." My tone had been bitchy, and it ended up that I had hurt True's feelings. He'd wanted me to turn toward him and snuggle. I wanted to sleep.

From there, I suffered my second (and worst) case of baby blues. I cried and got mad. My being upset, upset Evley. She refused to eat. She acted starving, but like she couldn't latch on. Finally, I put her in the Moby and went on a walk. It was somewhere close to 8 p.m. and it was tough to make myself get out. 

Evley was calm in the Moby. But, it took her hours after that to calm down and eat well. Gabe had gotten True & Elle West ready for bed. 

Once she finally went to sleep, Evley slept for six hours before she woke up again to eat. I felt terrible about it because I attributed it to how upset she'd been, but on the other hand, it was just what I needed. I had to take all three kids into Durango in the morning for Evley's two week check-up.

Tuesday, July 22
We got out of the house on time; with just enough time to grab an iced mocha from the Tuning Fork on the way. I hadn't had one the day before and am convinced having one may have helped me along...now is not the time to practice discipline in the way of what I'm consuming. I don't have a tendency of overdoing it with coffee or junk food. So, if I want it I just go for it.

The trip to the doctor went really well. Evley gained another 9 oz, weighing in at 7 lbs & 7 oz! The doctor was thrilled and so was I. The goal would be for her to be back up to her birthweight by tomorrow. True and Elle West did relatively well, and we all survived another outing beyond Bayfield.

I stopped at the Tuning Fork again once we got back to Bayfield...and let True run in for an Italian soda. He'd been good.

At nap time, Esther came over and took this month's style photos of Evley and I (starring Miss Evley Love!). You can check out the year's style posts by clicking here, to see what I mean...watch for this month's post next week. The shoot went really well. Another big day fairly well over.

Evley and I both slept great!

Wednesday,  July 23
Happy two week birthday, Evley Love!!! Today we took it eeeasy! We went for coffee and a picnic at the park with Tracey and her girls. We sat in the grass, in the shade, for a long time. Then I worked on this post, at nap time, and until I couldn't take it anymore and called it quits for the night. I know better than to wear myself out. I'm hoping to avoid future instances of baby blues and/or depression by just stopping and taking care of myself.

Thursday, July 24
I was tired last night. I do not want to upset Evley in such a way again (like I did on Monday). She has been so sweet and agreeable; it's so dumb to wear myself out and create such chaos at home. But, it can be a tough thing to figure out. In this way, three is easier for me. 

What's next? We might just get to move into Evley's room this weekend! Here's where it's at...

If there is anything that you are wondering about, that I did not mention...please feel free to ask in the comments!! This post, like usual, is much longer than I planned on! I hope you are doing well and enjoyed the update :)

X O X O X, JL

2 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed reading about you're two weeks! Being able to understand what was going on in your world when I saw you was enlightening in a special way. I saw you walking on Monday evening, and was wrapped up in my own craziness that evening. I had "escaped" in the Jeep to the grocery store for an amazing 15 minutes. Anyhoo. Joining the world of mom of 3 soon, I am paying attention to your pause at how long "getting ready" is now going to take. (Yes I am selfishly listening to what you are going through to figure out what I'm up against come September) I feel like I have learned to give myself more time, but also fine I rush often.... Speaking of which, Sydney is not dressed and I haven't done my hair yet and we need to leave in 25 minutes top a Dr. Appointment. Hope to see you soon, I really enjoy our impromptu talks aso well add our scheduled ones :-)

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    1. Thank you, Alison, for commenting! I saw you zoom toward the grocery store on Monday (although I didn't know if it was you or Christian)! It's crazy how once being a mom tiny outings like that turn into "escapes". Where in pre-motherhood they were nothing, or if anything- a nuisance of a chore.

      Well, I'm excited to see what September brings for you and your family. Pregnancy is just as tough on me as early postpartum...so in my book you are already enduring it. I'm glad to help in anyway that I can. I thought it would be special and important to give some updates like this. So, I really appreciate hearing that it was for you. I was told recently, when sharing some feelings/thoughts on the amount of help I've received (or lack thereof), that I look like I've *got it together*. I suppose I do look that way, and truly do...a lot of the time. But, sometimes I don't have it together at all. I think that's true of most people. But, we are bombarded by everyone's PRETTY pictures that make them & their lives look perfect ;) However, really there isn't a such thing. There are moments that are pretty and some that aren't so much. I like to share the pretty ones, but the ones that aren't are just as important & helpful as the pretty ones are inspiring.

      I hope to run into you soon!! Perhaps today!

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