Saturday, April 27, 2013

RANT-ing :: productive or not?

RANT 1 :: RANT 2

There's a rattle in this here head that needs tending. I noticed it when I laid down last night to bed; after a late night snack, and some facebooking that I suspected may lead to insomnia. 

I read the two rants that are noted above, and in that order. 

Rant 1--Essentially, or what I got out it, the author is stating the case that: No matter what choices you make regarding the upbringing of your children {so long as you indeed have the best interests of your family in mind}, there inevitably will be opinion and fact to back-up the harm you are bestowing upon your child by making those choices. Another way put, there is/always will be research supporting that the opposite choice would be a better one. 

True enough.

She goes on to talk about sleep {or lack thereof}, the notion that motherhood looks like a fairy tale {but is not}, nurturing your relationship with your spouse {and not getting too}, and the importance of making time for yourself {but, that having to do so is still a ridiculous amount of work that ultimately benefits the other people in your family}.

Again, true enough.

Rant 2--In this post, the author goes on {and on} about the madness that has become kids expectations of holiday celebrations; what teachers are encouraging in the way of holiday celebrations at home. Her piece ends with a plea to others to stop with the holiday overkill, so that she does not have such high standards to live up to in the eyes of her children.

Point received, and I agree.

Here's the thing. They are both written in true RANT fashion and borderline {if not well across the border of} offensive. As I read them both, I could identify with their points, and overall agreed with each. But, I found that my heart rate became elevated, and that I began questioning the way I do things; as well as the way that my friends do things. 

From there, I began critiquing my blog including: my writing style, the things that I find interesting, and my assumption that anyone else would care two licks about it. I critiqued myself and my blog, because of the large number of shares and comments these publications have received. 

I began doubting myself and feeling down. Is this the sort of stuff people want to read? It is all true enough, and is a reality of motherhood. But, in my mind, it's all so obvious... and isn't something that I'd choose to write about. They seem to be obvious rants, and with obvious solutions. 

I rant. Actually, I throw tantrums. My children's tantrums, at their best {or worst depending on preference}, mirror my own. I am not pretty all the time, and may not be pretty in someone else's eyes... at all.

But, I don't {or try not to} dwell on those things. At first, after reading the posts I thought, well good, I'm not alone. However, ultimately they were depressing views on motherhood that set me into a funk laced with self doubt. THAT was certainly NOT the intent of either author. 

But, that's how I felt.

I thought about my mentioning that it is our responsibility to find composure {as moms} when dealing with our mood swings in a post the other day. I then connected myself to Miranda Lambert's This ain't My Mama's Broken Heart. I'm not that mom, am I? I LOVE that song and have never associated myself to THAT mom! The thought is unnerving. From there, it didn't take me long to remember how often I tell True to get it together... be the big kid that you are and get it together when he is on the cusp of turmoil in the way of dealing with a {tough} situation. The scary part, lately, my telling him that has work. He gets it together before things get bad.

So now get this, we've made it full circle and back to rant 1; the idea that we will {undoubtedly} F*** up our kids no matter what we do

IS RANT-ing--Productive? Comforting? What IS the attraction?

If... I'm the third author, it seems that we all agree entirely on that each family is unique, and what works best for one will very likely be quite different than what will work for another. 

We all yearn for camaraderie... I choose to focus on PRETTY things. How do you handle it?

<3, JL 

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